So, apparently every time I sleep with that guy, I get tonsillitis. WTF? He wasn't even sick after last time--I asked--so why am I once again sitting at home barely able to swallow*?
At least no UTI this time.
UPDATE: Not tonsillitis. But it might be MONO. Jeez.
NEW UPDATE: Got test results. It's not ANYTHING. I guess I was just sick.
*tee hee
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
The Unknown STD
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
C U Next Tuesday (This Tuesday)
I CANNOT tell you why I was thinking of this today, but: I love the word cunt. I wish I could remember the moment when I first learned the word. (It may well have been from my mom.) While I basically think women can use it with impunity (haven't totally thought that through yet, there might be exceptions), I was wondering to myself what the circumstances are in which it's acceptable, to me, for a guy to use the word. Any guy I actually know can probably use it with impunity-- I think they've earned the right. If you're my friend you probably have credentials as a non-misogynist--perhaps you need them to even WANT to be my friend, if that's not self-aggrandizing. And I can imagine, again under certain circumstances, a guy I've just met actually endearing himself to me by saying "cunt," but thinking about it I'd have to already like him.
Here is my favorite instance of a guy saying the word:
In 2004, when the RNC was in New York, my friend Jake and I went to a trivia night at a bar downtown. We joined the team of these four boisterous Australian guys and this one woman from Texas. They were all very nice, but the Aussies were giving the woman a (friendly) hard time, I suppose because she was blonde and was showing (seasonally appropriate) cleavage, decorated by a cross pendant. While she and I had gotten into a little conversation about our differing views on reproductive rights, we were both respectful and listened to each other so I bore her no ill will, and felt a little annoyed at the Aussies on her behalf. So I leaned over to her and said, "You should just say the word 'cunt.' That always shuts guys up."
This was the wrong thing to say.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Things I Did This Weekend
-Acted like a total crazy person and committed several elementary blogging faux pas, the evidence of which has been expurgated.
-Cried about being a crazy person. (Three times.)
-Apologized for same. (I hope sufficiently.)
-Flirted.
-Got laid! My good ol' deflowerer called me up and we had a lovely time. Dearest Sojourner is totally right about the importance of a "winter spoon"--I'd forgotten how great it is to have a warm naked man in your bed on an icy cold day!
-As a result, at least partially got over the need to make a conquest of the famed Guy I Shouldn't Fuck. I needed at any cost to get laid, or at least make out, even if I knew it was a bad idea.* But now I've had my Sex That Goes Nowhere, so I'm a little less driven to distraction. And Nowhere Man is out of sight/mind--at this point, if Nowhere Man were someone I had to see all the time, I'd probably get depressed. It sucks always being back at Square One.
-That being said, I have no will power (see: me being a crazy person). So we'll see what happens.
-Fell on first sight for yet another skinny guy in glasses, this one theatre-affiliated. We smiled at each other! Baby photos to come.
-Tried to explain to a friend why I cared if anyone thought I was a slut. Did a bad job.
-Had a totally good time at a party I was angsty about.
-Fell in love with a specific bagel, but that's really not so interesting.
Now, hopefully, I can start posting anything of substance.
*As I told Sojourner: "My two main orifices are screaming for me to step on the gas; it's just the rest of me that's whining about the speed limit."
Friday, January 25, 2008
In Case You're Keeping Score
I have cried at my desk twice this week: once for Heath Ledger, once for my own confusing* existence.
TGIF!
*::cough::pathetic::cough::
Reassurance
Here is a gchat conversation I had this morning:
me: I find myself posting about my life in ways that have nothing to do with feminism
Michelle: i think that's a) okay; b) not unexpected; and c) not entirely true
me: ok, good
I'm about to post a, well, post about how much I hate [redacted]
which I'm also not sure about
Michelle: i will quote you to yourself:
me: ha!
Michelle: 'What I really aim to do here is chronicle what it's like, on a day-to-day basis, being a young feminist in New York and in "today's world"'
so i think that even if the "Here Is My Feminist Point!!" doesn't quite exist in any given post
it's still part of the chronicle.
me: great
thank you
Michelle: ![[smile]](http://mail.google.com/mail/images/cleardot.gif)
me: that was an excellent pep talk!
it helped that you quoted me
because I heart me
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Drunken Blogging
Well, not actually. In fact, I wish. Tonight was beyond a let-down. I went to the Usual Bar with, literally, condoms in my back pocket. I WAS PREPARED FOR BATHROOM SEX. I was expecting to see Guy I Shouldn't Fuck--there was a small event, supposedly--but he didn't show. He'd Facebook RSVPed for chrissake! Is nothing sacred??? I hadn't decided it was full-on Sexy Time, but I was cruising for at least some covert smooches, and I'd made the bed and done some "personal grooming" just in case. All for naught. Not only was GISF not in attendance, my usual go-to barflies had been there 'till 4 a.m. the night before and were understandably not answering their phones, and everyone else in the area was either working or in bed*.
So I'm nursing my Newcastle, when the cute AWOL dude's onerous roommate walks in. Of course. The last time we were both in the bar together, my roommate attested that he was totally making eyes at me the whole time, which means he is a ridiculous social retard with whom I want nothing to do. So, obviously, he sits down next to me and we chat. I'm half-hoping he'll make a move so I can be mean to him, but if he had his act together enough to make a move we wouldn't even be in this situation, so no luck there**. I take two sips of my second drink and go home to watch my cat have an awesome fucking time with a piece of wire and some cardboard. I wish I were so easily satisfied.
I'm sure there is some lesson or moral here. Actually, I'm not sure of that at all, but I feel guilty writing about myself without having a larger point. Perhaps it is that some people just don't know how to behave themselves, and one is better off without them. Perhaps it is that one should only get pedicures for one's own enrichment, and not in anticipation of a non-guaranteed hook-up. (Fortunately, a pedicure is pretty much ALWAYS self-enriching.) Perhaps it is that one should never restrict one's dating pool, and I need to find a new bar.
Or perhaps I should just try fuckin JDate. Oh woe.
*At 10 P.M.! That is an outrageous hour for both of those activities.
**To be fair, I was making a conscious effort NOT to touch my hair or send any other IOIs, and mostly had my hand over my mouth, which I'd heard on the radio once was body language for "Do Not Enter."
Friday, January 18, 2008
Addendum
Feministing just posted their response to the Matthews apology. They were even more upset than I, though they agreed that the apology would've been fine if he'd actually just made the one comment. However, they cited another Horrible Thing He Said that I hadn't heard, and it really pisses me off:
- In an interview with John and Elizabeth Edwards: "Behind every great man is a woman trying to kill him... What's this with equal marriages? Why do people try to marry their equals? What happened to the Stepford Wives, the good ol' days? [Audience boos.] Oh, how PC! How PC!"
Better Than Nothing
Breaking news in Matthewsgate! Chris Matthews went on air and sorta-apologized for his ridiculous sexism. Media Matters has the video and transcript. I appreciate the apology, and it's pretty well-reasoned...except that it's based on the notion that Matthews only said one objectionable thing. He pretends that the uproar is in response to his comment that "the reason [Hillary Clinton]'s a U.S. senator, the reason she's a candidate for president, the reason she may be a front-runner is her husband messed around. That's how she got to be senator from New York. We keep forgetting it. She didn't win there on her merit."
It's nice that he doesn't pretend the statement was taken out of context or some bullshit--he says that, upon reflection, that last bit was not only gravely insulting but factually incorrect. He likens Clinton's marriage troubles to McCain's POW history, which in the context makes some sense (even though they are obviously of very different quality and calibre). Matthews had forgotten that 2000 was not so long ago and most people REMEMBER that election, so, yeah--he certainly had to deal with the consequences of his statement. And, as I said, he didn't do the blame-dodging bullshit-excuse thing that is so ubiquitous these days, which is appreciated.
But: come on man, you said a lot of other objectionable shit. True, this final comment got the most attention, because in addition to being hugely sexist it had the added benefit of being totally fucking untrue, whereas the other things qualify as off-the-cuff misogyny, which is not exactly rare. He has casually flung out the casually sexist memes that undermine any woman who dares to pursue a leadership position. He has done his best to lower the level of debate and to tar, if unconsciously, all women with the same brush. I'm sure his words will be recycled for years to come.
In summation: Thanks for the apology. Now where's the restof the fucking apology?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Quote(s) Of The Day
All this talk of repartee has me looking up Mae West quotes. Some of my favorites:
Good sex is like good bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
When I'm good I'm very, very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
And, of course, the best truths are the simplest ones:
A hard man is good to find.
Formal Apology
Writing this blog (and, probably, reading Slut Machine's blog) has instilled in me a nigh irresistible urge to tell all my friends every detail of my sex-slash-love life. Usually on gchat, while they're at work. Usually the stuff that I don't even feel comfortable posting here. As I've said, I have no idea if they're actually interested. Sometimes they do not respond at all and I go, "I am totally boring this person." And then I go, "Unless they're just distracted by the JOB for which they are getting PAID and thus do not have time to say 'HA' and 'cool' in between every three things I write."
So, if I am in fact burdening anyone out there with the blow-by-blow* of my sex life, I officially apologize.
*Tee hee!
Oh The Conundrum
Repartee with my flirting buddy about his penis size has got me trying to plan something witty to say for when* I actually see his penis. "Witty" meaning clever, sexy, and preferably complimentary. Mae Westesque, perhaps. This is a totally moronic thing to be thinking about, but I feel we've set the bar high and I want to live up to any expectations we may have formed.
Suggestions are welcome.
UPDATE: "Your problems are not like other people's." ~My friend Alden
*Shit, I'm jinxing it!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Chicks I Like
(Cuz why not, right?)
As an avid reader of Jezebel, I have of late fallen totally in love with Editor Tracie "Slut Machine" Egan.
Yes, she posts under the name "Slut Machine," and yes, she is awesome. After I'd already started to fall, I finally realized that in the stupid "Jezebel Moe says she's not a feminist" thing, Slut Machine was the official feminist. Which is when I was like, "Oh, not only is she awesome for slutty reasons, but also for theory reasons." But whatever, back to the slutty stuff.
I've only just recently started reading her own blog, One D At A Time. (It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize what the D stood for.) First of all, I'm totally jealous of the fact that she talks about her sex life the way I wish I could. I was of course jealous of the sex she was having, and I like that she dated the founder of Burning Angels because a Burning Angels performer once spent an evening at a club telling me and my hot indie rocker guy friend that I was gorgeous and should be on the site*. But then just now I read an old entry in which it is revealed that she has lived the goddamn FANTASY OF MY LIFE, namely fucking two hot British guys at once. Sure, her encounter didn't actually go that well, but the fact that she made it happen thoroughly makes her my idol.
That being said, why is it that all the cool sluts do coke? I will never in my life do coke, for various reasons, and I'm wondering if that's what's required to attain the status of ladies such as Slut Machine and Lisa Carver. Does Rev. Jen Miller do drugs? I don't know, that might be worth finding out. (Um, why would that be worth finding out?)
Anyway, I hope you guys come to love Slut Machine as much as I do, if you don't already. Wow, that was a lot of internal links!
*This actually caused me to buy a short-term membership to the site, and then I saw on her blog that she supported Bush and I lost my taste for it.
Not To Be "Uppity" Or "Castrating"
Maybe you guys are sick of my Chris Matthews reports, but today Jezebel linked to Daily Kos, which has a post summing up all the horrible things Chris Matthews has said about women. Okay, probably not ALL of them, but many, and some about women OTHER than Clinton, in case we thought that his misogyny was just anti-Clintonism in disguise. Check it out.
(My favorites are when he wonders if the troops would take orders from her, and the gem, "[S]he was giving a campaign barn-burner speech, which is harder to give for a woman; it can grate on some men when they listen to it -- fingernails on a blackboard, perhaps.")
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Gender, Booze, And Song
More karaoke last night, this time at the Bar We Always Go To--they're now doing it once a month. It was fun, and I sang "Wicked Game" (now one of my standard jams), which went over well partially because it's perfect for my voice, but also the MC said she'd never heard a woman sing that song. She seemed quite impressed--she mentioned it several times. Later, Guy Who Blew Me Off* complimented me on the choice.
I then chatted with Guy I Shouldn't Hook Up With** about the fact that I drink whiskey and that this makes me cool. I confided in him that I decided (years ago) that I would train myself to like whiskey in order to impress boys...and that it was way easier than I expected and now Jack on the rocks is my favorite drink, which is slightly unfortunate because it's not as cheap as well vodka.
The point being: yay, hooray, for occasionally feeling that minor manifestations of my gender issues can be appealing to other people. For while singing sultry male songs and drinking macho drinks makes ME feel sexy, and is SUPPOSED to make other people think I'm sexy, I rarely have a clue how things actually play out.
Or is it laughable that I think of singing Chris Isaak and drinking whiskey as expressions of gender identity?
*He needs a better nickname. I still think of him as Monday Guy but since we hooked up a month ago that no longer really makes sense.
**There were way too many Persons of Interest at this bar last night, but that's a different story.
Dudes I Like: Op-Ed Style
At last, an Op-Ed we can all get behind! Roommate Katey brought this one to my attention--it is, of course, by Bob Herbert:
...who is probably the Best Person with a Times Op-Ed column (next to Kristof, I guess, but he's a serious do-gooder). Today's topic: politics and misogyny. But he's not talking about everyone's attacks on Clinton--he's talking about how politicians (including Hill) don't address or do anything about the gross misogyny that pervades society.
This is not the first time that Herbert has used his column to decry misogyny in areas where others ignore it. I really appreciated his piece after the Virginia Tech tragedy about how misogyny is integral to many such shootings. Herbert is very attuned to prejudice in our society--especially the kinds that most people regard as subtle or ingrained but that should be considered, by any reasonable society, obviously outrageous. He never pits gender against race, and his writing on both subjects (among others) is among the clearest, most disciplined there is to be found these days.
This column, like many of his, is a little 101, and Herbert's take on pornography and prostitution is not nuanced. But his passionate, straightforwardly expressed belief that women are NOT second-class citizens and objects of degradation always gives one hope, even in the face of the most distressing news about rape, murder, and humiliation.
Bob, there should be more like you.
Monday, January 14, 2008
But More Importantly, Let's Talk About Me
Enough of this politics crap, am I right? You all want to know what's going down with Susan B. So, a recap:
-I'm leaving my job at the end of the month. Which totally means I should finally ask out my workplace crush, and I totally won't.
-Goddamn he is dreamy. His smile is Obama-calibre, but with the addition of crinkly, twinkly eyes.
-Due to the anxiety caused by quitting my job, I've been smoking pot every night just to fall asleep. Which basically works, though I am kept up an extra hour by the fact that the pot makes me really horny, and I am visited by visions of the non-sugarplum variety. Last night it was S&M fantasies of surprising ferocity.
-Karaoke birthday party was this weekend. My dad got adorably trashed, took the mic, and sang along with every song. Even ones he didn't know. Even "Let Me Blow Ya Mind." I've discovered my new jam, and it is "Special" from Avenue Q.
More On Moore
The Carpetbagger Report has a good response to the Lorrie Moore op-ed, and actually found the statistics. Steve M., the guest poster, makes a few excellent points I missed:
So, yes, one out of every nine boys drops out, which is appalling in what’s supposed to be the greatest country in the world — but if “only” one out every eleven girls drops out, it’s not as if we have that problem all sorted out, is it?
and:
...yes, the black dropout rate is noticeably higher than the white dropout rate, but the Hispanic dropout rate is twice as high as the black rate. Doesn’t that mean we should have all abandoned our support of Clinton and Obama and rallied behind Bill Richardson?
(And isn't the highest drop-out demographic pregnant teens? Are we allowed to vote for Clinton if she gets knocked up?) And finally:
We can parse this all day, but as I read it, blacks have crumbs, women have a somewhat larger supply of crumbs, and white men still run most of everything. So why pit blacks and women against each other?
Why indeed.
No, Really, Actually The Greatest Thing Ever
Roommate Katey just sent me an email saying: "This is like when my rat-owning, culinary-school bound friend Jenny finally got to see Ratatouille." The email included the best fucking link I've ever been sent:
"FilmSchoolRejects talked to author Shauna Cross, whose book 'Derby Girl' is being turned into a movie titled Whip It. Drew Barrymore is making her feature directorial debut on the pic, which is targeted for a March start. This is how the book is described:
Meet Bliss Cavendar, a blue haired, indie-rock loving misfit stuck in the tiny town of Bodeen, Texas.
Her pageant-addicted mother expects her to compete for the coveted Miss Blue Bonnet crown, but Bliss would rather feast on roaches than be subjected to such rhinestone tyranny.
Bliss' escape? Take up Roller Derby. [OMG OMG OMG. --Ed.]
When she discovers a league in nearby Austin, Bliss embarks on an epic journey full of hilarious tattooed girls, delicious boys in bands, and a few not-so-awesome realities even the most bad-assed derby chick has to learn.
So who is possibly in talks about playing Bliss? According to Cross it's an actress whose name rhymes with 'Shmellen Shmage.' She's of course referring to Juno star Ellen Page."
So, yeah, I might as well have gotten this letter:
Dear Susan B.,
I made this for you.
Love,
Drew Barrymore
Roller derby. Plus. Ellen Page. With Blue Hair. They might not even fuck it up!
(The best part might be that they felt the need to clarify whom "Shmellen Shmage" meant.)
New Times Op-Ed Inadvertantly Supports Steinem Op-Ed
Yesterday's New York Times featured an op-ed by novelist Lorrie Moore titled "Last Year's Role Model," the basic thesis of which is: "The political moment for feminine role models, arguably, has passed us by."
Um, yeah...first of all, Lorrie, "feminine" is different than "female," so I'm not really sure what you think you're saying there. From the context it seems you mean "female," in which case...false. Or rather, what the fuck is that supposed to even mean? It would be one thing if Moore were trying to say that political interest in female role models has waned--which anyway would be contradicted by the recent increase in female political role models such as Rice and Polosi, whatever you might think of them. But based on her subsequent argument, she seems to be saying that female political role models are actually unnecessary-- that they are, in fact, totes lame.
- Boys may outperform girls but these statistics only reflect the past 20 years and Moore herself is framing this as a recent trend, thus negating the idea that this is a flaw in the "design" of the system.
- Using these statistics in this manner in no way takes into account other societal influences that discourage scholastic achievement for boys--especially boys of color. It's not a flaw in the design of the system that boys are expected to apply themselves. It's a flaw in society that boys are expected to care more about sports. (Or gangs. Or boobs. Or whatever else it is that is way more important than English class.)
- Indeed, it is well-documented that the average classroom environment is biased strongly towards boys.
- What about black girls? Oh right, they don't exist.
•It is kind of a leap to assume that having a black President will encourage all boys of color to study harder--and asserting that this is true undermines the notion that it is the design of the educational system that puts boys at a disadvantage. So all they need to do is apply themselves, and then the system's cool?
Then there's a bunch of general "blacks have it worse than chicks" stuff: "The sexes have always lived together, but the races have not." Which is true--so then why have we not had a female President? Why is the Senate still a mere 16% female? (An improvement from my childhood--and Lisa Simpson's--when it was 2%, but come on, we're half the fucking population.) Also, she likens Clinton's failed health plan to Guiliani's moronic placement of the Crisis Command Center in the WTC, against all sane council he received. Which totally makes sense, cuz Hillary's health care plan totally killed a bunch of people.
This piece is a perfect complement to Steinem's, for two reasons. One, it supports her main point that to a lot of people, sexism is sooooo not a big deal. Two, it's the exact same stupid thing Steinem was doing--falsely and detrimentally casting this election in terms of Race vs. Gender, and making up nonsense for the sake of touting the candidate of one's choice. Steinem likes Clinton. Moore likes Obama. All's fair in love and politics!
Oh, and also: black girls exist.
Reposting My Comment From Feministing
(For the record.)
"To be honest, I think the race-vs-gender thing is a media fiction. Which is horrifying, but I think real people--actual non-pundit voters--are considering the candidates rather than the candidates' demographics. It's a shame we're being so misrepresented.
As for Steinem...I defended her on my blog, since I believe she had a valid point or two that got buried in the pro-Clintonism and general nonsense, but the more I think about it the more racist and ageist it is."
Friday, January 11, 2008
Fun Friday Thought
Gentle readers, life is hard. But remember: no matter how bad things get, at least you aren't unwittingly married to your own twin.
Well, unless you are...
[Via Jezebel.]
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Can I Be RE-Outraged?
I confess: until just now, I hadn't actually watched the footage of Hillary Clinton's famed emotional moment. Give me a break, I can't watch videos at work (like, the computer actually won't LET me). Anyway, I finally did, and am even more astounded that this was labeled in any way as "crying." Oh my god. Have you seen this? I'd read on trusted blogs that she hadn't actually cried, but seriously--THIS IN NO WAY WAS ANYTHING LIKE CRYING. She didn't even sniffle! I want to go back in time so I could've been more FULLY incensed when this whole stupid thing went down.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Awesome Cutting And Pasting
Feministing has this, and it's awesome, and I'm just going to tell you what it is:
* Take a drink for every "magical negro" reference to Obama.
* Take one drink anytime someone calls Clinton "shrill" or "screechy."
* Chug one whenever you hear of, see, or read Maureen Dowd. Always.
* Two drinks anytime anyone expresses the sentiment that Edwards is at a disadvantage because he isn't black or female.
* Take a shot when a pundit refers to Clinton as (or implies she is) a nagging bitch or cackling witch.
* Drink for any lamenting that white-dude voters are being ignored.
* Take a healthy gulp every time someone describes Obama as "clean" or "articulate."
* Take two shots whenever someone implies that women only vote with their vaginas.
* Warning: Do not watch Chris Matthews under any circumstances--doing so could induce alcohol poisoning.
But you should go look at the original post because I'm too lazy to recreate all the internal links.
In Case You're Interested
Feministing has a "24-Hour Hillary Sexism Watch," and here is a particularly teeth-gnash-inducing post.
And don't worry, they hated Steinem's Op-Ed.
A Cheerier Note
I meant to say this before:
In addition to getting farklempt over My Mom Clinton winning New Hampshire, I was basically really happy all last night because of these two historic evenings we've just had. A black man and a woman have each won one of the two most hyped primaries in our nation's history. I think it's truly important that they each took one--perhaps this is Obama-eqsue idealism, but I believe that this has opened the door to both demographics. Women and African-Americans are officially viable candidates, whatever else happens.
A Break From All This Serious Shit
I wonder if there's any correlation between enjoying sexual masochism and enjoying spicy food. Have any studies been done on this? The pleasurablity of spicy food is related to the endorphins released in response to pain, and while this is surely not the only reason many people like S&M, it no doubt has an effect. So, are subs more likely to like spicy food than the general population?
(Ha ha get it???)So, yeah, these are the things I think about when I have turkey chili for lunch.
Picking A Pony
I've talked before about my mixed Clinton-related feelings. Well, they've changed. Kind of. Yes, I too have gotten swept up in Obamamania. It's hard not to. But last night I was reminded that I've been loving Hillary since I was 10 years old. I grew up on her. Watching Hillary's acceptance speech, I actually choked up a little. My reaction was basically, "Oh look, my mom's running for President. My mom would be an AWESOME President!"
I'm over my lame trust issues, and now it truly is down to electability. This issue is two-fold: Hillary arguably being not-so-electable, and Obama arguably being super-electable. If you'd seen nothing but the speeches last night, you could well have thought that he had won. Though his speech didn't really have any content (do any of them at this point?), it was undeniably inspiring. He's a superb orator. He might actually unite rather than divide--though honestly, do we want that? Wouldn't we rather be divided but winning? But I digress.
I wish people would stop talking about Hillary's unelectability. Not because they're wrong, or because it's not a valid issue, but solely because, well, it makes me sad. It irritates me the same way as when people criticize Juno even in the slightest--I want to cover my ears and scream "CHANGE THE SUBJECT CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"
Which means that this post is not actually as substantive as I'd intended, because I don't really feel like thinking about the many reasons why nominating Clinton could potentially be a bad idea. Maybe I'll return to this subject later. The bottom line is, I am officially torn. I have no idea whom I'm voting for in a few weeks. I love Hillary, and while I don't think she's UNelectable, I think Obama's hard for any Republican to outcharm.
Sigh.
In Defense Of Steinem. (Mostly.)
Yeah, so, many of you have by now read Gloria Steinem's NYTimes Op-Ed piece about sexism and Hillary Clinton. Many people have had problems with it. This was my reaction after the first read: "She's basically right, except for the part where all this means that everyone should vote for Clinton." I would say I "mostly liked it."
Not that we shouldn't vote for Clinton. (More on that to come.) And if we ignore that paragraph, and pay attention to her other points, there's a lot to embrace. I have long held that sexism is the last acceptable "ism"--even among young, liberal, well-educated people like me and my friends*. Steinem seems to agree:
So why is the sex barrier not taken as seriously as the racial one? The reasons are as pervasive as the air we breathe: because sexism is still confused with nature as racism once was; because anything that affects males is seen as more serious than anything that affects “only” the female half of the human race... and because there is still no “right” way to be a woman in public power without being considered a you-know-what.
Prelude To A Post
In attempt not to bombard you with one giant post combining my thoughts on Clinton, Obama, Steinem, my mother, and possibly the movie Juno, I'm going to start with some evidence that I will later introduce to an argument. So, below, a (no doubt inexhaustive) list of weirdly sexist things Chris Matthews has said about Hillary Clinton:
-He asked Chris Dodd, "Do you find it difficult to debate a woman?" Dodd, sanely, said no.
-He then went on to tell Tim Russert that Bill had her on a "short leash."
-He pinched her cheek. Repeat: he pinched her cheek.
-Last night after the primary results came in, he said to her Communications Director Howard Wolfson something like about how her appeal lies in the "contrast" between her "strength" and her "being a woman." Not actually a joke. This is something I actually saw, but unfortunately I can't find a link to it. He actually contrasted being a woman with being strong. Wolfson was, rightfully, slightly thrown.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Ah Yes, 1992 WAS An Awesome Year, Wasn't It?
This is from io9, the new blog for women who like science fiction. I think. Anyway, here is the cover of a pulp novel from 1971:
I will not post the excerpt cuz I figure I should instead send you all over to io9 and you can read it there. It was their scoop, after all.
All Years' Resolutions
Looking at Nerve's "Scanner Emily's Top 10 Lessons Learned in 2007," one thing jumped out:
4. If you suspect a guy is blowing you off, he is. No matter what your friends say.
This is SOOOO not news but I feel it bears constant repetition. I think my friends and I have learned this lesson to the point that we don't actually try to convince our friends they're not being blown off, but I know I still have that little pipsqueak voice in the back of my head that tries to make excuses. One has to constantly remind oneself that if a guy likes you, he will try to keep you from screwing other guys by at least calling you now and then.
Political Quote Of The Day
"I know I've been campaigning too much because I was at a rally and instead of saying 'The time for change has come' I said 'The time for come has changed.' And I have to admit, everybody clapped."
-- Obama in a New Hampshire speech.
Via Jezebel.
I Know My Calculus
Neighbors Kim & Scott introduced me, the other day, to a Columbia math grad student. He was nice, et cetera, not the point. At brunch on Sunday, Kim was telling us all about hanging out with him and his other Math Student friends. The particularly interesting part was the girls. Apparently, from spending so much time in a male-dominated field, a girl becomes "one of the boys." Meaning that these ladies talk about their sex lives as openly (read: brazenly) as the guys do. Kim's example was a girl talking about some spring break trip and saying, "And remember that time I had sex with three guys in one day? That was awesome!" Her male friend said, "Yeah, that was awesome!"
How The Other Half Lives
The other night, over birthday drinks, I wound up talking to some friends about compulsive serial monogamy and how in general it is not good. Not a novel stance on our parts, but always a subject worth revisiting. Partway through, I realized that my three comrades were all in longish-term relationships, and were talking about not just what it's like to be single, but about what one has to do in order to be single in a healthy way. It occurred to me that I, in fact, was single, and that in an inadvertent way they were inherently describing what my life needs to be like in order for me to be healthy. Which I do not say negatively--they were, after all, saying good things, and presumably believe that I (basically) live my life as a Good Single.
Susan B.'s Words To Live By: An Ode to Fucking
A bit of a preamble on this one.
Trite though it may seem, Susan B. has a fuck buddy. Or perhaps a booty caller--once or twice a year we get together and have awesome sex*, and then we don't see each other for at least six months. The interesting thing about this guy (I mean, there's more than one, he's an interesting guy, you know what I mean never mind) is that he was my aforementioned first. He did not know this fact until afterwards, and was surprised by it, and the next time he saw me seemed a tad guilty, like he thought he should've called, and I was all "whatever dude" and we did it again.
Friday, January 4, 2008
I Have A Fever...And The Only Perscription Is More Primaries
That is not actually a joke. The NH primary is on Tuesday and I am chomping at the bit. Obama and Clinton are my Britney, Wonkette my TMZ.
Some say that Huckabee is bad news for the Dems, since he's the only candidate who can galvanize the evangelicals. This is reportedly what happened in Iowa. But the Democratic turnout was more than twice that of Republican voters, so how galvanized can they be? 239,000 Democratic voters (compared to 2004's 125,000!) versus 108,000 Republican voters. Apparently you don't have to wave the Jesus flag to get people to the polls.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
This Has Nothing To Do With Feminism
But I can't resist. Because it is too amazing. Someone on a Jezebel comment thread directed me to Brigham Young University's honor code, and on the main page, is the best Frequently Asked Question OMG EVER ASKED IN THE HISTORY OF QUESTIONS. You ready? Here we go:
"What is the process for obtaining a beard waiver?"
Perfection. Try saying it aloud if you don't believe me.
Dudes I Like: Neo-Weimar Edition
This feature will be replacing "Male Feminist of the Week" because, well, that was too hard. Not that there aren't plenty of male feminists out there, but there aren't many guys TALKING about how they're feminists. So we'll switch to guys who I think are cool, and living in a feminist way or embodying a feminist ideal, and we'll start with this one:
Brian Viglione of The Dresden Dolls.
26 Years of Enfranchisement!
Well, it's been two weeks, because I've been sitting around being angsty about work. But what better way to return to my duties than...on my birthday! Yep, happy birthday to me. It is fitting, because last night I was thinking a bit about my birthday suit. That's right--it's body image time! So, here's what occurred to me for the first time: I don't hate my body. Obviously, we all have a few things we'd like to change about ourselves, and we all have what I like to call Bad Face Days, but all in all I actually kind of like my body.
But. (What, you weren't expecting a but?) I realize that I assume OTHER people hate my body. While I enjoy my curves and my soft spots, I know that they don't fit into what I'm actually supposed to look like. I think people should find me attractive...but I don't expect them to.
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