Drunken Blogging

Well, not actually. In fact, I wish. Tonight was beyond a let-down. I went to the Usual Bar with, literally, condoms in my back pocket. I WAS PREPARED FOR BATHROOM SEX. I was expecting to see Guy I Shouldn't Fuck--there was a small event, supposedly--but he didn't show. He'd Facebook RSVPed for chrissake! Is nothing sacred??? I hadn't decided it was full-on Sexy Time, but I was cruising for at least some covert smooches, and I'd made the bed and done some "personal grooming" just in case. All for naught. Not only was GISF not in attendance, my usual go-to barflies had been there 'till 4 a.m. the night before and were understandably not answering their phones, and everyone else in the area was either working or in bed*.

So I'm nursing my Newcastle, when the cute AWOL dude's onerous roommate walks in. Of course. The last time we were both in the bar together, my roommate attested that he was totally making eyes at me the whole time, which means he is a ridiculous social retard with whom I want nothing to do. So, obviously, he sits down next to me and we chat. I'm half-hoping he'll make a move so I can be mean to him, but if he had his act together enough to make a move we wouldn't even be in this situation, so no luck there**. I take two sips of my second drink and go home to watch my cat have an awesome fucking time with a piece of wire and some cardboard. I wish I were so easily satisfied.

I'm sure there is some lesson or moral here. Actually, I'm not sure of that at all, but I feel guilty writing about myself without having a larger point. Perhaps it is that some people just don't know how to behave themselves, and one is better off without them. Perhaps it is that one should only get pedicures for one's own enrichment, and not in anticipation of a non-guaranteed hook-up. (Fortunately, a pedicure is pretty much ALWAYS self-enriching.) Perhaps it is that one should never restrict one's dating pool, and I need to find a new bar.

Or perhaps I should just try fuckin JDate. Oh woe.



*At 10 P.M.! That is an outrageous hour for both of those activities.
**To be fair, I was making a conscious effort NOT to touch my hair or send any other IOIs, and mostly had my hand over my mouth, which I'd heard on the radio once was body language for "Do Not Enter."