As it's Monday, I'm supposed to be out meeting my friends for half-price filet mignon, but I find myself wanting to stay home and watch porn. I don't, like, have porn to watch or anything, and I don't particularly feel like masturbating, it's just an urge I have. Maybe because I can't do it at work.
Anyway, my birthday's coming up, and this exists:
Which, in case you couldn't tell, is woman-oriented 
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