Can I tell you how much I hate uriniary tract infections? Yeah, I got one the first time I ever had sex, which is I think a testament to how much I like sex that I ever even bothered again, because UTIs FUCKING SUCK BALLS. AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY. Ahem.
I don't have one right now, since I did a lot of 100% Pure Cranberry Juice chugging after my last rendez-vous. But I was expecting one, as this guy almost always gives me a UTI. It's probably because we tend to do it like 6 times in one night/morning (after all, we only see each other twice a year), and I just don't have enough pee to flush things out after each time. I learned the hard way that if I don't pee within about 20 minutes after sex, I'll spend the next few days popping AZO until I finally have to cave and get some Cipro.
Once I got a (minor, Cipro-less) UTI just from masturbating. Honestly.
There was a study awhile back about how cranberry juice is just generally awesome, especially for women. The pure stuff is kind of nasty, but makes me feel butch so that's ok. I like to swig it from the bottle as though it's whiskey and I'm a grizzled old man in a Sam Sheppard play. The inevitable question, which the poser always pretends is a joke: does mixing it with vodka make it any less effective? Because that's quite the spoonful of sugar.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Burning With Desire...To Pee
Friday, January 11, 2008
Fun Friday Thought
Gentle readers, life is hard. But remember: no matter how bad things get, at least you aren't unwittingly married to your own twin.
Well, unless you are...
[Via Jezebel.]
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Prelude To A Post
In attempt not to bombard you with one giant post combining my thoughts on Clinton, Obama, Steinem, my mother, and possibly the movie Juno, I'm going to start with some evidence that I will later introduce to an argument. So, below, a (no doubt inexhaustive) list of weirdly sexist things Chris Matthews has said about Hillary Clinton:
-He asked Chris Dodd, "Do you find it difficult to debate a woman?" Dodd, sanely, said no.
-He then went on to tell Tim Russert that Bill had her on a "short leash."
-He pinched her cheek. Repeat: he pinched her cheek.
-Last night after the primary results came in, he said to her Communications Director Howard Wolfson something like about how her appeal lies in the "contrast" between her "strength" and her "being a woman." Not actually a joke. This is something I actually saw, but unfortunately I can't find a link to it. He actually contrasted being a woman with being strong. Wolfson was, rightfully, slightly thrown.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Another Round in Life's Ongoing "Horrible or Hilarious?" Game
"Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship? Show that you support the "culture of life" by buying and proudly displaying one of these patriotic unborn Americans. Also available in a 'Brown' model."
Via Jezebel.
[Miss Poppy.]
Monday, November 26, 2007
Does This Mean Men Want Their Dicks Sharpened?
Again via Feministing, one of the most awful products ever:
I think this is much worse than the infamous Axe mousepad, which while being puerile and nauseating at least implies the pleasuring of a woman*. But this...the screws in the hands and feet, the decapitation, the painful imagery...it makes you wonder, what kind of person would think to make this? Whether or not you think this product is that bad, whether or not it reflects or influences cultural ideas about women, can you imagine waking up and saying, "I have a great idea! A headless naked woman being fucked by a pencil**!" What kind of sick mind dreams that up? Obviously, a violent and misogynist mind, but, to me, being this creative with violence and misogyny is pretty disturbing.
*And hearkens back to our discussion of whether Axe ads are degrading or just dumb! Yeah relevance!
**(And, I don't know, shitting out the shavings? Hard to tell.)
Monday, October 15, 2007
All's fair in love and advertising?
The blogosphere is abuzz today because advocacy group Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood has written a public letter to Unilever, the company that owns both Dove and Axe, charging them with hypocrisy. Why? Because Dove ads promote a positive body image, and Axe ads are degrading to women.
So, my roundtable question: are Axe ads genuinely more degrading to women than your average commercial?
Obviously, the commercials are really stupid. Axe purportedly smells gross, and I doubt I would date anyone who falls for the advertising enough to buy the awful product. While I object slightly to the "questionable hook-up?" ads for the body wash, the body SPRAY ads don't offend me more than a lot of other ads that genuinely objectify women-- these ads say, "if you buy our product, women will want to sleep with you." This is not exactly a new tactic--Axe is just far more blatant about it. I'm inclined to say that the campaign is degrading to everyone--men just as much as women.
Furthermore, while it's not technically hypocriticalfor a parent company to have 'children' companies that cater to different demographics, I've always found the Dove ads themselves somewhat hypocritical. It's great that they use real-looking women, but they do so in the context of selling us semi-expensive "skin firming" cream. They're sort ofsaying that these women are beautiful, but they're also saying they need to change the way they look. I think the ads do more good than harm, because it helps adjust the atmosphere--we're constantly bombarded with the infamous Size Zeroes, so having even an occasional Size Ten puts a chink in The Man's armor*. But it's still exploitative, and still telling us our bodies are wrong, and bad, and need fixing.
So, while I applaud Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood's efforts, I'm not going to get up in arms about it. Thoughts?
*Albeit a tiny, tiny chink.
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