Liveblogging for Alden

Now, this doesn't really count as liveblogging last night's debate, because I'm posting it now and not as the debate was happening. But, I WROTE it as the debate was happening, to my friend Alden, really without his consent, so I thought, what the hey. Please note that I tuned in a little late. Possibly an hour late? I didn't know it was happening until my mom called me, crowing about her new theory (see below). But, enjoy!

9:00 PM me: are you watching the debate?

9:02 PM Alden: no but i hear they haven't punched each other yet

me: my mom called me up

to inform me that clinton and barack have struck a deal

she tells me with authority that whichever one wins will pick the other as running mate

Alden: to make out when one of them gets nominated

really

9:03 PM me: HA

yeah

he says

rather

SHE says:

"I make deals. I know a deal when I see one."

9:04 PM Alden: !!

me: so, I'm listening to the debate rather than watching it

since I don't get CNN, but it's channel 10, it's blurred out like porn

but I can still hear

and man is obama's voice DREAMY

duh

ree

mee

9:05 PM oh man, my mom's so right

Alden: ha

me: clinton's talking in terms of, "isn't it awesome that one of us is gonna be prez?"

9:07 PM Alden: ha

who do you like for the primary

me: obama

though it's an emotional decision for me

Alden: yeah

me: clinton's like my mom

9:08 PM Alden: omg you are right

9:10 PM me: wow

someone just asked HRC the dynasty question

9:11 PM the, "I'm 30 and I've never had an election without a clinton or a bush" issue

she's dodging, obvi

but still

Alden: please answer with aplomb

aplomb dammit

me: ok

9:12 PM good retort:

"It did take a clinton to clean up after the first bush, and I think it might take another clinton to clean up after the second bush"

Alden: nice!

me: aplomb: check

8 minutes

9:21 PM Alden: omg i'm doing my taxes

how did this happen

i'm not even drinking

me: ha

she's sounding better on iraw right now

Alden: iraw indeed

;)

how are you feeling ps

9:22 PM me: OH MAN

obama said something iraq blah blah blah

and the moderator said

9:23 PM "Senator Clinton, that's a clear swipe at you"

and she said "really?"

and obama's all "swipe?"

and hrc says

"we're having such a good time up here!"

I'm feeling pretty good actually

except for my lack of corn chip

s

9:24 PM Alden: hahahaha

and now they're making out

liam found this thing online that summarizes candidates stances and tells you who you're most aligned with

it wants liam to vote for gravel

me: aw she called him barack

nice!

I keep hearing about that thing

9:25 PM oh man they're just talking about mccain, not about each other

hrc keeps saying "we"

Alden: because they're running TOGETHER

me: (please pardon my liveblogging)

Alden: omg you tootes are

9:28 PM me: this is reminding me of when nathan lane and matthew broderick were both up for tonys for the producers

and lane won and they both came out and accepted it together

that's what this is like

PRECISELY

Alden: ha

9:31 PM me: oh no!

you have brain fever!

Alden: i do??

eeek

9:32 PM me: it is apparently cured by a good night's sleep

(I heart Oregon Trail!)

9:33 PM Alden: HAHA

i can't understand facebook OT

9:35 PM me: who is this moderator?

oh, wolf

he just got booed

Alden: ha

!!

for what!

i don't like wolf

me: for asking hill to say she'd been naive

he's clearly a hill-hater

9:38 PM Alden: wolf's a douche

me: totes

9:42 PM omg

wolf's asking about sex and violence in movies and tv

9:43 PM snooooooozzzzzzeeeee

9:44 PM uh oh

Alden: BORING

me: spouses

9:45 PM they're making her account for bill

oh man and it involves someone named Greg Craig???

WHY WOULD YOU NAME YOUR KID THAT?

Alden: hahahahaha

9:46 PM the schoolyard taunts will use the nickname "pegleg"

me: HA

9:47 PM and now even wolf's saying, "you two should run together"

9:50 PM obama: "I'm sure hillary would be on anyone's shortlist"

Alden: HAHAHAHA

me: clinton: "well, I agree with everything barack just said"

Alden: omg

they're talking about sex

me: MAKE

OUT

Alden: sweaty dorm room hookup sex

9:51 PM me: is there erotica about this yet?

I was gonna say slash fic but then I remembered it wouldn't be slash

[I'm toying with posting this conversation on my blog]

9:56 PM ok

now here's what I'm thinking of doing:

buying chips

smoking a joint

Alden: both?

me: eating chips and salsa while watching Firefly DVDs

9:57 PM yeah, that's one plan

though I could pick and choose

I'll certainly do at least one of the three

(chips, pot, firefly)

Alden: haha

10:01 PM me: or am I gonna keep listening to cnn?

(while high?)

Alden: omg wolf's name will get even funnier

10:04 PM me: HA

10:06 PM on cnn they think the cordiality is strategy

no one seems to think there's a deal

10:07 PM so, my mother: visionary, or crackpot?

Alden: so liam doesn't think HRC would take VP if obama got the nom

but that obama would be stupid not to

me: yeah

and I think hrc would be stupid not to offer to obama

but I'm not sure about the other way around

10:09 PM vp hillary would be weird

10:10 PM I can't imagine her being happy with that

Alden: yeah liam said "she's going for the gold"

10:12 PM me: my mom disagrees

10:13 PM but then got off the horn hastily

maybe she was getting some post-debate action

oh my god why did I just say that?

Alden: o

mg

10:14 PM me: ok she called back

she'd hung up because she was listening to keith olbermann

10:15 PM Alden: haha
[then a bunch of stuff about Britney, mono, and Marcel the Monkey which is not really entertaining so I'm cutting it]

7 minutes

Alden: omg right

10:37 PM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGLdqvnyz6I
mitt romney's son...sort of hot? sort of gay?

10:39 PM me: yes to both, methinks

10:40 PM Alden: he could put his slippers under my bed any time, i think

10:41 PM me: HA

but does he wear the magic underwear?

Alden: only his hairdresser knows for sure