(Yknow, not really. But, Angst Alert!)
So, a lot of grade-A high-school-calibre bullshit this weekend, and I have warned many of my friends that I am officially Not Alright, and will be as such for at least a few days, and they are just going to have to deal with it. Good thing I'm unemployed as of yesterday, because I don't think I could manage my polite phone voice right now. Anyway, I've officially dubbed this week my "Fuck All Y'All!" Week. Which is to say, if you have a problem with my attitude or behavior, guess what? Fuck all y'all. This got started well at karaoke last night, when some underage kids snuck into the bar and STOLE MY FUCKING DRINK while I was about to sing. Since I had the mic, I alerted the entire bar to their heinous crime (not their age, which I wasn't thinking about) and asked that everyone shun them. After I sang (which was perfect, "Hate To Say I Told You So" by The Hives, which is a nice loud song about being superior, and I knocked one of the hoodlum's caps off while singing), they gave me the money I'd demanded in recompense. The kid then asked if I'd buy him a drink and he'd pay me back, and I said, "You haven't earned that. You need to learn some respect." If he'd just asked me from the BEGINNING, instead of being an asshat, I might've helped him out. I later learned that he and his buds had heckled my friend while he was singing, and I'm glad I didn't know that at the time--I would've been angrier, and thus less calm and commanding. (Because as we know, angry women are powerless and gross!)
So, speaking of angry women being powerless and gross, it seems I'm not really interested in the fact that my protracted anger is going to be off-putting. I've decided that no other way I've tried acting up to this point (Rational, Mature, Forgiving, Cool About Things, The Bigger Person, etc) has gotten me anywhere. So now I'm going to try being angry, petty, rude, and vindictive. And I'm human, so it's not that I've never done those things ever, but now it will be without remorse. It seems I'm back in high school anyway, so while I'm starting over I might as well do things differently, right? And really, no one cares about my anger except for me, but I've decided that I count, that me caring is enough to perfectly justify my bad behavior.
And if you don't like it? Guess what! Fuck all y'all.
What has this to do with decrying feminism? Well, I try not to JUST blame everyone else for my problems. So, in turning the gaze inward, I'm thinking about finally just changing my personality, and being someone different who would possibly get things more easily. To do this I would have to stop:
a) eating
b) speaking my mind in any way
c) caring remotely about anyone else
By which I mean all of the above. I really just can't bring myself to start doing coke, though I think that would help with a and c, and giving up b would probably impair my blogging abilities, but isn't that a small price to pay for fitting society's mold? I think so. I would probably have to be more mendacious as well, not just neglecting to speak my mind*, but also actively lying to my friends in order to pretend to myself that I'm a good person. Because some of the bullshit I've been fed recently is about how I'm just TOO good a person, and am special and unique, so that other people's constant lies are supposed to be the healthy, acceptable norm, whereas I'm just inhumanly ABOVE it all, or some such crap. Come on kids, I'm a reasonably good person, but I'm not a saint, and I don't think I'm demanding 110%, as they say, when I expect my friends to speak anything other than lies. You know, now and then. But if that's what pairs people up, I'll just have to practice my bullshitting. Once I'm done with Fuck All Y'All Week.
So, have a good week everyone! It's gonna be a doozy.
*Because come on, strong-willed women? Yuck! A good friend of mine, who actually IS honest with me, says that being strong-willed puts off most of his gender. To him, a chick being strong-willed is a great thing, but I think it's time to stop waiting around for that fictional guy who will appreciate it romantically.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
In Which I Decry Feminism And All Its Teachings
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10 comments:
As long as you're going balls out, I'll go balls out, too. Stop with the high and mighty "if I want my life to be better I'll just have to turn into a terrible person who looks like a waif and giggles." The guys who stole your drink won't be affected by that anyway. And the guys you let slip away because you're too timid to be pro-active about men won't be affected either. NYC is a really shitty, really tough dating scene. Being timid and then screaming "fuck all y'all" in your blog won't help your chances. Neither will getting all bitter and blaming your track record on your looks and disposition. Your problem is neither of those things. Every man I've dated has appreciated a strong woman, so I can guarantee they exist, and most of my male friends prefer a chick with balls (so to speak). Be the early bird--not the waif-like giggling asshole--and you'll improve your chances. A lot of men are just dying for a girl to smile and say "what's up"...and they haven't the energy/self-confidence/time to look beyond the first woman who engages them.
PS. As long as I'm on your "Fuck All Y'all" list anyway, I may as well give you a good reason to put me there.
PPS. You know the people feeding you the "you're special" line are fucking assholes. You're too smart to believe that that's what the rest of the world is like. Fuck those pieces of shit...you're not "special" because you're a good person. They're douchebags because they're NOT good people.
PPPS. I care about your anger, you cunt.
If you're implying that I'm generally timid with guys, that's pretty silly. The night I described I may have been tired and in a bad mood and not initially proactive with a guy I didn't know anything about, but that doesn't mean my MO is "being timid and then screaming 'fuck all y'all' in your blog." Just the latter part. I always take the initiative, so don't pretend that my problem is sitting around waiting. I'm not sure what you're diagnosing me with here. [Though it's true I don't believe in the existence of the guys I "let slip away."]
And you're not on my "Fuck All Y'all" list...unless I'm doing something you disapprove of that I don't know about?
Aw, you're a cunt too, baby!
I'd just like to point out that there's a difference between being righfully, justifiably anger when someone has hurt you, and being prey to every emotion that happens to swing by. I personally think there's already way too much hate and anger around, so why would you want to add to that? You'll only get as good as you give. You can be strong and opinionated without being hurtful and out of line, which, honestly, "fuck y'all" kind of is.
BTW, I just want to point out that my comment was not specifically referring to the incident with those little punks (in which I would have reacted exactly as you do) but more to do with your interpersonal relationships with your friends.
Sarah: thank you for your comment. I thought I'd made clear with this post that I don't really care what you think on this subject. You don't have to like it. Lots of people do lots of things that I don't like. That's life.
Of course people do things you (or I) don't like, and vice versa. But I can't imagine why you would want to (or be able to) have true friendships if you honestly don't care about the repercussions of your actions, ever. That being said, I'll shut up, for fear that I'll be slammed on the fuck y'all list, if I haven't been already.
Um, "ever?" A week is 7 days.
I'm sorry, I sort of misconstrued the whole "this is only for a week" thing, which obviously is different.
Dude, I put "week" in huge letters.
I approve of you.
Sorry we didn't get to chat much last night. We will soon...
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