Fell In Love With A Girl. Unfortunately.

I do not have a crush on Jack White. Really. I swear. When I saw The White Stripes this summer, I found myself more able to fantasize about Meg than about Jack. And yet when I hear anything about his wife and children, I find myself pretty jealous. I want to pretend it's not true. Maybe it's a reverence-of-the-mythos thing, like I just don't want to think about anyone being important to Jack other than Meg. But probably it is SOME form of crush.

It helps that he went from his Sleazy Catfish look back to the Weird And Cute Jack:

(I think that latter is from the pre-Catfish days, as he's no longer quite that skinny, but you get the idea.)

I've always loved his "weirdness." And I find it strangely endearing that when he married Meg (sorry Jack, we know she's not your sister) he took her last name. (Is that hypocritical of me?) I love the band, obviously, and I love his commitment to the mythology of the band. But I really don't think I had any sort of celeb fantasy that he would one day be mine. Except that apparently I did. Because any reference to his red-haired supermodel* wife makes me feel dejected. Oh Jack! So, I confess: officially count me as having a crush. Cuz really, I haven't been this crestfallen since I found out Jon Stewart was married.

And now that I think about it, I'm actually a little disappointed whenever someone mentions Jack Black, because I wish they were talking about MY Jack. I mean, no one understands him or appreciates him the way I do, right? I totally love Jack more than anyone. I INVENTED liking Jack White. And one day he will be Jack B. Anthony.

Obviously.

[UPDATE: Please feel free to share any of your I-Can't-Believe-It's-A-Celebrity-Crush stories.]

*according to Wikipedia