REQUIEM for a Muppet Hat

Sigh. Last night was the finale of The (aforementioned) Pickup Artist. Kosmo won: Ladies, this man is a sweet, shy boxer with washboard abs and top-notch kissing skills. This is not exactly empirical proof that Mystery can transform any AFC (Average Frustrated Chump).

That's the main flaw in this show; they had to cast people who were particularly bad at picking up ladies, and then make them particularly good. I can't think of any other shows like that. (My roommate suggested The Biggest Loser...which is a title that could be applied to TPA in several ways, actually.) It's really hard, in 8 short lessons, to turn dorks into chick magnets, and the show was disappointing because no one made enough progress from episode to episode--Mystery would send them out for challenges, and one person would succeed TOPS. It should be that a bunch of them succeed, and he'd have to choose the best. The only suspense each episode was as to who got booted, not as to who got the first runic medallion. (No joke. Runic medallions.) The two hottest guys ended up as finalists. It was anticlimactic, and you left most episodes wondering how good a teacher Mystery actually is. I liked to imagine him going home after a miserably executed challenge and punching a wall.

Also, Mystery's wingmen (Matador and the questionably British J-Dog) were totally useless. And let's be honest--they're more in love with Mystery than with any of the "targets" they "isolate."

But alas, it was still a good time. It was a wild ride--we laughed, we cried*, we hated Pradeep. I don't know if there'll be another season (or indeed if I want there to be), but the legacy will live on in my heart. (And in my friend Colin's Halloween costume--I think I've convinced him.) So now for a trip down memory lane, with some of Mystery's weird outfits:

And one last time, my favorite:

Oh sweet Eric von Markovik, you fake-lipstick-tattoo-wearing stud. You will be missed.

*Okay, they cried.