New York = New Amsterdam ≠ Dutch

Interesting post on Jezebel about how the average woman is still horrified if a guy wants to "go Dutch" on a date--especially the first date. I am theoretically unopposed to splitting the cost. I HATE girls who get miffed if a guy doesn't pay her way most of the time--there's just no justification for that attitude. My preferred method is for the guy and girl to alternate picking up the check... but yeah, I confess, my prejudice is that the guy go first*. This is in small part because of my gender issues/insecurities due to which I feel like guys don't actually view me as female, and a nod to stifling and traditional norms pats my little ego on the head.

But primarily, non-Dutch on the first date is nice because it removes the sordidness of money. Everyone hates sitting there doing the math of who-ordered-what. Alternating is definitely the ideal, because on top of the aforementioned, it creates a cheerful, if false, sense that that someone's getting treated--it's like when you're at a bar with a friend, and you buy the first round and ze** buys the second but everyone's secretly keeping track.

Really thinking about it, and going over my past, going Dutch definitely does not bother me. (It absolutely SHOULDN'T bother me, but sometimes our gender training pokes holes in our morals and intellect.) I can definitively say that I would NEVER assume the guy's footing the bill.

And I hope we're all aware: if you are like me and in your almost-impoverished 20's, ordering brand-name alcohol or the most expensive entree/an appetizer when your date does not means that you are DEFINITELY chipping in.


*This makes me a bad person.
**Gender-neutral pronoun, in case you didn't know. I use "ze" and "hir" (pronounced "here.")