Mythbuster: Reverse Sexism And Heterophobia

I'll cut to the chase: recent events have brought out my gay. I have realized over the course of the past few months that I am more bi than I gave myself credit for. And I am seriously craving some lady action*. Sapphic novice that I am, I have made very little headway, and before I start negging and demonstrating value and wearing fuzzy hats, I thought I'd check out the W4W section of craigslist. That is where I shattered my own preconception...

Myth: Lesbians on CL are classier than straight dudes on CL.

Not so, my friend. Case in point, the post that is right now at the very top of the page, in its entirety:

"im goin 2 make this short and sweet i want to have a good clean time with a sexy femme wit nice big tits. i am 20 years old my body type is barbie/model and im very freaky, DISEASE FREE AS U SHOULD B AND i love women and love pussy!!!!i want 2 meet up 2nite so if u wanna play email tag and nothing more please dont waste my time.NO GAMES,NO MEN.PLEASE NO MEN!!!please b able 2 host!!!!"

Yes, like their straight counterparts, lezzie CLers are addicted to abbrevs, ALL CAPS, and model-esque physiques. They also like to post photos of their butts. Ok, some of these ads were probably posted by straight dudes POSING as lesbians, but it can't be ALL of them.

So, my apologies to all demographics involved. Lesbians are people too--and people make asses of themselves on craigslist**.

Of course, there are still many fine ladies posting ads written in full sentences that made them sound like actual people. I found myself extremely turned on by a post titled "Music? Zines? Feminist? Looking for a Riot Grrl. - 24 (East Village)," by a self-described "cute punk boi," which included the sentence, "My pants have paint stains." If I were remotely cool enough, I'd have replied in a second.

Girls are so intimidating.


*Add to this my waning interest in the opposite sex, which has been going on far longer--to borrow from Tracy Letts, it seems that I don't believe in guys, as though they are something to be disbelieved.
**Sometimes literally, what with the butt photos.