Depth Vs. Breadth

["Quantity vs. Quality" doesn't work for several reasons, including its being depressing.]

I must sometimes, reluctantly, face the fact that having had a lot of partners doesn't necessarily mean having had a lot of sex. Once, I told a friend my number* and she did in fact say, "That's a lot of sex!" But it's simple math--if you're in a long-term relationship, you're probably having sex a few times a week for years; if you're like me, you're having sex once every month or so, plus those little two-month islands in which you're actually dating someone. I'll wait while you run those numbers.

Yeah. Exactly.

I suppose I've never had extensive hands-on tutelage--at least not with the same mentor/equipment. So sometimes when I get into a naked situation I feel a bit...remedial. This is especially true when it's not a one-nighter, or when I'm with someone whom I know has had long-term relationships. While I've tried a lot of different things--usually more than your average single-digit-history person--I'm not necessarily proficient at any one of them.

This is mostly paranoia. The things I have little practice with are usually the advanced or novelty kind of practices, which most people do not expect you to be expert about. And while I think I am probably pretty good at most of this stuff, and have a good attitude towards sex (which is important), I do get self-conscious about technique**.

So, be encouraging. Even sluts get performance anxiety.


*Back when it was only ten!
**Especially when it comes to oral.