Sex and Gotham City

The trailer for The Dark Knightis finally out, and it's pretty fucking exciting. I was never worried about Heath Ledger as The Joker, I figured from the beginning that he'd be awesome and the trailer bears that out. But what hadn't realized? Maggie Gyllenhaal! She's the Official Woman! And she punches The Joker in the stomach!!!! So Chris Nolan is furthering his track record of women in Batman movies being infinitely cooler than women in Spider-Man movies. I can't wait for summer 2008.

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Essay Submissions Wanted!

Hey gang--the editors behind Feministing are looking for essay submissions for their upcoming book, Yes Means Yes!This sounds like an amazing project:

"Co-editors Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti are seeking submissions for their anthology on rape culture, Yes Means Yes!, to be published by Seal Press in Fall 2008.

Imagine a world where women enjoy sex on their own terms and aren't shamed for it. Imagine a world where men treat their sexual partners as collaborators, not conquests. Imagine a world where rape is rare and swiftly punished.

Welcome to the world of Yes Means Yes.

Yes Means Yes! will fly in the face of the conventional feminist wisdom that rape has nothing to do with sex. We are looking to collect sharp and insightful essays, from voices both established and new, that demonstrate how empowering female sexual pleasure is the key to dismantling rape culture.

Potential essay subjects could include;

* Revamping how public sex education is taught, and to whom.
* The new backlash against rape survivors (i.e., media obsession with drinking, Girls Gone Wild culture being to blame for assault)
* Bringing men back into the conversation, making men leaders in the movement to end rape culture
* Thoughts on “enthusiastic consent”
* Taking Back the Porn: How changing the pornography industry can stop rape
* The power of language (naming rape for what it is, or the new myth of “gray rape”)
* A primer for men on sexual assault
* How good sex (where women’s pleasure is central) can mean an end to rape culture, and how a society that values genuine female sexual pleasure will make it easier to identify and prosecute rapists.
* Rethinking sexual interaction as a private joint performance, as opposed to as an exchange of a commodity or service
* An analysis of the economics of female sexual alienation/oppression, and an economic model for resistance
* Holding the MSM accountable for torture porn, kidnapping crusades and faux feminism.
* Desegmenting the Market: overcoming commercially enforced sexual stereotypes to organize across race, class, gender, and difference
* On pulling out the invisible lynchpin of rape culture: homophobia
* Creating accurate media representations of rape
Women and men, published and unpublished authors, are all encouraged to submit essays. Be creative, be forward-thinking, be funny! Perhaps most importantly, we are seeking essays with a pro-active bent that offer new and insightful thoughts and actions on how to dismantle rape culture. No more “No Means No,” let’s think “Yes Means Yes!”

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
Please submit your essays to yesmeansyes2008@gmail.com no later than March 1, 2008.
Essays should be from 2000 to 5000 words, double spaced and paginated. Please include your address, phone number, email address and a short bio."



I, personally, will be wracking my brain. Wrack yours too!

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Terrible Things

I don't really know what kind of commentary I can add to this, but the story should be known: In case you were thinking that Halliburton employees only get to do whatever they want to Iraqis, think again!

Jamie Leigh Jones of Houston, Texas--a Halliburton/KBR employee in Iraq--was drugged, beaten, and gang-raped by several coworkers. They were so brutal that Jones ruptured a breast implant and tore her pectoral muscles. After she went to the hospital and had a (now missing) rape kit done, she was locked in a shipping container (one report I read said trailer) with no food or water--she only got out because a guard let her use his cell phone, and she called her dad, who called their congressman. She was told that if she didn't "get over it" she'd lose her job.

This was two years ago. No criminal charges.

So thanks to that enormous loophole that basically exempts Halliburton employees from any kind of law, no oneis safe in Iraq. The Justice Department won't even protect its own citizens.

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Some People Are Like This, and Other People Are Like This!

Jezebel linked to a stupid article in the London Times about how US women are well-groomed and British women are busted. He describes things like waxing, tanning, and teeth whitening as "obligatory beauty maintenance," and essentially says that we're superficial bitches who tell our friends they're fat--yknow, in a good way! Blah blah etc, he is stupid and sexist and basing his concept of America strictly on L.A. This we know. I didn't even read the whole article because who gives a fuck.

However, I thought I'd share with you my OWN sweeping cultural generalizations. Having lived the better part of a year in London,* I determined that Londoners (at least) have a healthier attitude towards sexuality, in particular female sexuality. Furthermore, the guys have less stringent beauty standards. Now, it's been suggested to me that "Susan B.'s London is not everybody's London," but you're just as likely to spot a couple where the guy's more attractive as the other way around**. The women in their sitcoms are hot, but look like actual people. Bah, I saw the first episode of the pitiful American version of Coupling, which I'm told was almost word-for-word the same as the first episode of the awesome British original, and the guy who was supposed to be kind of dopey and not great with women was of course played by a chubby balding guy, even though the plot concerns him and a super-hot woman. In the British version, that character isn't much more or less attractive than his buddies-- they show his dorkiness, and this will shock you, through the WRITING AND ACTING.

Also, you can buy vibrators in Luten airport.

The author of the lame article talks about liking British girls, going to college in LA, then coming back and wondering what happened to the pretty. My guess? The girls didn't change, he just developed a taste for silicone and fake tans. As for me, at least once a week it occurs to me that if I actually wanted to be, yknow HAPPY in this life, I would move to London and marry some nice indie rocker who likes to dance***.



*OMG almost a year! I'm like a native, and totes qualified to comment on the culture! For reals.
**[Insert boasts about my pulling guys way hotter than me.]
***And start a meaningful theatre career, since theatre there actually matters, but that's a tangent.

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Rainy Days and Mondays

As it's Monday, I'm supposed to be out meeting my friends for half-price filet mignon, but I find myself wanting to stay home and watch porn. I don't, like, have porn to watch or anything, and I don't particularly feel like masturbating, it's just an urge I have. Maybe because I can't do it at work.

Anyway, my birthday's coming up, and this exists:

Which, in case you couldn't tell, is woman-oriented porn. And is about PIRATES. Though it's probably a little girl-on-girl for my tastes.

UPDATE: Apparently it's mostly straight. I did not mean to misrepresent a film I have not seen

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Another Round in Life's Ongoing "Horrible or Hilarious?" Game

"Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship? Show that you support the "culture of life" by buying and proudly displaying one of these patriotic unborn Americans. Also available in a 'Brown' model."

Via Jezebel.

[Miss Poppy.]

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Susan B.'s Words To Live By

Because every now and then I learn something, and I want to share it with you fine people. Today's pearl of wisdom:

Never fuck someone you're not gonna wanna fuck again in the morning. Cuz that's just rude.*

And you can quote me on that.


*There are, of course, exceptions to this rule, but they are obvious and usually involve bathroom stalls.

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She Brings Home The Bacon, He Fries It In A Pan

Please excuse my long absence guys--I've had tonsillitis! Yes, I am almost 26 years old and have tonsillitis for the first time. I got to hear my doctor use words like "necrotic" and "foul-smelling" in reference to things in the back of my throat. Fun! Anyway.

This week's advice-themed Time Out New York has a mini-article on how our parents' relationship teaches us what we know about love. (Sounds obvious, but whatever, it's like half a page.) My first reaction to this, as always was, "What did my parents teach me about marriage? That sex is what keeps it together." They didn't teach me this by example (I don't even know what that would entail, but it sounds pretty scarring), they taught me this by saying it, repeatedly, over the course of my life. I think it makes total sense--if you're gonna fight about things like finances and in-laws, there's gotta be some incentive to patch things up in a timely manner.

But then I remembered a conversation I had with my mom semi-recently, when I told her about my "going dutch" post. Since shortly after September 11th, when law firm he worked for closed its doors, my dad's been self-employed and working from home. This has had an unimaginably positive impact on my dad*, but also on my parents' marriage. The big thing was that he took over the cooking almost entirely. My mom had done the bulk for about 20 years, but it turns out my dad not only loves to cook, he's awesome at it. He's a real gourmet, he loves ingredients, he loves shopping for quality food.

All this I knew. What my mom pointed out to me, which I hadn't realized before, is that my dad is actually in semi-retirement. He'll take on a case, and it might take a year or two, and if he wins that winds up being about15% of my mom's salary. My mom, you see, is for the first time in her life, "making what [she] would make if [she] were a man." Apparently, they sometimes joke that he's her househusband.

I am not conflicted about this. My dad is 65 years old and worked hard all his life. This semi-retirement wasn't quite planned, it just worked out well. I'm not sure my mom would be happy that way--she isn't, either. (She envisions herself someday dropping dead in the middle of a conference call.) I'm tempted to muse over, "Is that what it takes for a happy marriage?" But I know better. They were happy beforehand, just more stressed--it's not secret that, for the bulk of our lives, we work hard and are under a lot of strain, and then if we're lucky we get to enjoy our latter years in relative relaxation. But I do wonder about the model my parents have set. I always assumed-slash-hoped I would end up much like my mom...which presented a problem because I, like her, loathe cooking. It's no coincidence that, before my family went on a health kick in 2001, we ordered in or ate out 2-3 times a week. Now when they order in it's because my mom worked late. So the question is, will I be able to find a husband** who will cook for me?

And that, my friends, is the real American Dream.


*He got a dog!
**[cough]at all[cough]

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