Hold Your Tongue

Okay...has anyone else ever had the urge to apologize for a mediocre blow job?

I know that is the stupidest thing. I'm not even talking about accidental biting or something like that (because then a simple apology is just polite). But when my fellatio is not up to my own standards, I am filled with a heartfelt desire to apologize for wasting the dude's time, and to assure him that I'm usually better than that. Even if he knows I usually do better!

Of course I cannot actually say anything. In general, I am a fan of not apologizing in bed. (Unless, as with above, it's just a courteous "Sorry!" for accidental collision or the like.) For the most part we shouldn't have to apologize for not having orgasms or not being in the mood or wanting to do some things but not others, what have you. It doesn't help, it perpetuates feelings of inadequacy, and often makes your partner feel bad, as though its hir fault for not showing enough enjoyment. So why this remorse over the occasional awkward sex act?

The last time I felt this way, it was with an acute feeling that I was squandering a magnificent erection. I felt like Bush, taking a huge surplus and turning it into a huge deficit. But, dude, shit happens. Move on!